R.I.P. Pepsi Rupe

R.I.P. Pepsi

This is the story of a little green parakeet named Pepsi.  She belonged to my step daughter Tonya and I begged her to let me have her.  I saw her in her little cage every day answering the outside birds and thought she seemed lonely with her owners gone to work. Tonya relented and Pepsi became mine.  Or so I thought.  In all actuality, Pepsi may have belonged to me, but I never really belonged to her.  Her little bird heart belonged to my husband Darrel.  When I approached her, she would bite me and chatter like crazy.  Darrel walked into the room, and she began preening and warbling.  She stepped onto his finger like a princess and peppered him with tiny beak kisses.  Oh, so I was on to her! She liked the men!  It was at this point I decided to get another bird, a baby that could possibly like me and also be company for Pepsi.  Wrong. Oh, Cola liked me well enough, but Pepsi abhorred him.  How could I invade her peaceful little world with this annoying baby?  Eventually, they made their piece and Cola did like me best!  So, it was with a heavy heart that I returned home from having surgery yesterday to find Pepsi at the bottom of the cage looking very ill.  Touching her, {yes, she still bit me} I could detect only a faint heartbeat.  Cola was beside himself, flying around chattering.  I tried to remove her from the cage but she would not have it.  So I let it be her way.  With one last attempt to bite me, she laid down on the bottom of her cage and looked at me.  I petted her and cradled her in my hand.  All the things she would never let me do before.  I told her she had been the best little bird anyone ever had and that I forgave her for not liking me best.  She quietly passed away there in my hand and I like to think she forgave me for not being quite the caretaker she had expected.

Cola is now inconsolable.  Fortunately, he still has me and the birds outside.  Perhaps it will be best to leave it that way.

A Year Since My Mama Passed

A year ago we said goodbye, in a little room, just my Mama and I.
It's my time to go, I heard her say, I won't be here another day.
I wasn't sure if I believed, so we joked and talked until time to leave.
I turned and said, Mama, I love you and she replied I love you too!
Those were the last words we would say, she passed away the very next day.

She used to say don't grieve and cry, when it comes my time to die.
I've loved the wonderful time I've had, I'm with my Lord and with your Dad.
God tells you when it's time to go, your body tells you, you will know.
Don't be afraid as I used to be, it's a time of peace and tranquility.
By God's rules I have tried to abide, now it's time to see the other side.

For a year now I've prayed and grieved, but mostly I have just believed,
That even in her final day, she still was showing me the way.
I try to be more living and giving, hold fewer grudges and do move living.
In her memory I carry on and forever nurture our special bond.

I miss my Mama more than I can say, my tears are flowing still today.
But slowly I am getting alongm with a happy heart and a family strong.
God has blessed me with his grace and I know she is in a happy place.
God Bless mothers and daughters everywhere, tell each other often how much you care.

Then when the time comes for you to part, you will not have a heavy heart.
The good times you will not forget and you will live with no regret.
These words I write in Mama's honor today, so others will come to know the way.

Don't be afraid and live in fear, love God and live in the now and here.
And someday you'll l have a memory, like the one I have of my Mama and me.

I DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD

Some months prior to Mom's illness, she began telling me "I don't belong in this world.  Everything is too bewildering." I would always reply, "well, you belong in my world!"  Since her passing I have thought about this comment she made. Remembering her life when I was young, we got our first TV in 1955 and she would carefully show me how to change the channels.  Oh, my parents were so proud of that first TV!  We got channels 2, 4, and 6 and all my friends came over to watch with us the first night.  Mom didn't get a clothes dryer until the 60's and this was another exciting time.  Dad also purchased a small freezer and they were so delighted to freeze their garden produce.  Our new phone was installed on the wall and one thought long and hard before making a long distance call. Dad went to the neighbors house and called home so we could take turns answering it!  All your conversations were, of course, held for everyone to hear and we were all fine with that!  Grandpa, who lived next door, refused to get a phone at all, declaring he didn't want to talk to anyone he couldn't see!  Thinking back about all these things, no wonder she was bewildered.  Her satellite TV with all the stations and remote controls with buttons she was afraid to push.  We thought she would be so thrilled to have all these options.  Oh, how she longed for the old days, she would say. 

Baby Boomers today are quite smug with our smart phones, IPads, texting and tweeting away.  We love our satellite TV stations and our DVR's.  There is nothing exciting about watching a TV show and unlimited long distance is just taken for granted.  Will the day come when we too are bewildered and feeling left out in this world? Will we long for the old days?  Where will technology take us next?  The most important things are, of course, our families.  Here we can feel the sense of  belonging no matter what kind of shape the world is in.  It is important for our young people to interact often with their elders to make them feel accepted, especially those who live alone.  Listen to your mothers and fathers and understand when they are bewildered and confused.  Encourage them to learn if they want to, nod in agreement if they don't.  The world will never stop changing.  But we can and should always make sure our loved ones belong in it.